The Relationship Episode

Introduction

Springfield Dominican Associates Steph Steele and Lucinda and Keith Buescher share a delightful, insightful conversation on all the things about dating and relationships. Steph, a teacher at St. Agnes in Springfield, Ill., and the Bueschers, medical professionals, bring all their joy and personality to this fun conversation. You will laugh with them, enjoy their translucent humanity, and be wiser at the end of this episode—no matter where you are in the relationship lifecycle.

 

About our guests

Stephanie Steele teaches middle grades and junior high school students at St. Agnes School, Springfield, Ill., and moonlights as as candidate for a masters degree in Information and Library Science at Dominican University. She lives in New Berlin, Ill., with her cat Gandolf and her books, and is a Springfield Dominican associate and member of Cor Unum.

Dr. Lucida Buescher, M.D. Lucinda is a board certified dermatologist who specializes in inflammatory skin diseases and skin cancer at the SIU Dermatology Clinic in Springfield. She received her degree at the University of Missouri. She is a Springfield Dominican associate.

Dr. Keith Buescher, PhD, is a clinical psychologist at Psychological Services of Central Illinois in Springfield. He is married to Lucinda, is also a Springfield Dominican associate, and is an avid believer in comabatting climate change with his bicycle, which he uses to commute to work.

 

Takeaways

• Relationships are messy. Be kind to yourself.
• Be truthful, transparent, tolerant, and patient. Be direct and clear and honest. Trust your emotions and your gut. Embrace the mess.
• Dating aps are a mixed bag. Treat them as a starting place. Also put yourself in real spaces where you might meet someone who shares your interests and values.
• A first date does not have to mean a commitment.
• Break-ups are part of the experience of learning to know what you need in a partner.
• Instant attraction is not the usual path to life partnerships; people don’t always fall in love with each other at the same time.
• Having a good support system is critical to help you stay connected once the kids come along.

 

Resources

Meet-cute? In the movies, an amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to the development of a romantic relationship between them. Here’s more than you may want to know.

The Virtues and Downsides of Online Dating. Pew Research Center.

More about “situationships.”

Falling in love is the easy part. A TED talk.

The Importance of Integrity. From the Gottman Institute.